The Art Of Influence by Landon T. Smith

Author:Landon T. Smith [Smith, Landon T.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Make Profits Easy LLC
Published: 2017-02-02T00:00:00+00:00

Communication Principle One: Respect

One of the old adages says, you’ve got to give respect in order to get it. Yet, this adage isn’t particularly helpful due to the fact that it creates entitlement in many people, as they are expecting that other people should be treating them with respect automatically. The reality is that if you want respect, then you must learn how to be respectful with no expectation of getting it back. This will help you immensely when it comes to dealing with those who will be disrespectful to you no matter what.

Respect is one of the foundational principles of communication because it allows for you to treat others with kindness, love and above all, dignity. Now, respect doesn’t mean that you have to agree with what everyone tells you, it doesn’t mean that you are some kind of doormat who lets people walk all over you. Someone who is respectful can also be strong and assertive, but respect colors how much you genuinely care about other people.

How does it feel when someone respects you and your words? It feels pretty good, doesn’t it? Well, when you think about everyone’s basic ideas and motivations, you must realize that just about everyone out there desires to be treated with respect and love. By giving someone the respect that they feel like they deserve, they will think better of you and in the process, your influence with them will grow.

So, what are some practical ways that you can learn how to communicate with respect? Well, the first step is to learn that it requires some level of discipline to make sure you treat everyone right. Sometimes there can be a lot of emotion that goes into our decision making and we can be prone to assume that other people are idiots, stupid or that they are somehow beneath us. It takes discipline and humility to be willing to look at another human being and realize that maybe there isn’t anything wrong with them. It takes love to even think that perhaps we might be the problem in our situation.

So, on a practical level, we must look at respect as an approach based system of communication. What I mean by approach based is that respect is all about how you approach a situation. For example, if you are trying to handle a conflict at work, you have the option to be disrespectful or respectful, even in the midst of an argument or a fight. What sounds more respectful? “You need to shut up before I make you!” or “I’m sorry that you feel that way, but I don’t feel you are being appropriate right now.”

The key to respectful communication involves:

- Looking for solutions, not making accusations

- Considering the other person’s feelings, emotions and path of life that led them to make this decision

- Addressing a person with kindness and not anger

- Putting the other individual first

- Waiting for the other person to calm down rather than push an issue

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